Damned food poisoning.

Don't your hate it when you parents warn you against something, and you wouldn't listen, but then you ended up suffering because of that?

So apperantly you CAN'T keep cream corn sauce on rice in a car for a day and still eat it for lunch the next day. Who would've thought? I woke up feeling sick and now, well, I'm still slightly sick. Not ahven't enough sleep doesn't help. (Upset stomach isn't helping me to sleep well either... I woke up at 4am feeling crap.)

Ah well. Lots of rest, eat well, yadda yadda.

A very strange sense of nostalgia

There are some people I rarely think about anymore. Whether it's because sometimes it was painful to remember them, or because they just bring out the hate in me everytime I think about them. But eventually, the event that was so heartbreaking becomes just distant memories, and the wound healed. I started to wonder how these people are doing, and whether I was wrong to give up a friend who was so close.

It's always things that are lost which trigger more emotion. I'm okay with all of my ex besides one, and it's that one that I still sometiems wonder how he's doing. I'm not too sure if I am still worried about him as a friend to be honest. Which I thought was odd coz I haven't even seen him for, well, too long. Although maybe it's because I know how all my other ex are doing... maybe I'm just a caring person. :P (Or maybe I just like to rub it in)

But hey, maybe at the end of the day I just want them to know I've ended up with someone a lot better. :P

Lazy Friday Rocks

After going into work yesterday: I have officially nothing to do until next Tuesday when I get nice data ot play with. Yay! DOn't knwo what I'd do today. Possibly just starting a bit of my proposal.

Anyway, watching Star Wars Ep III tonight. Depending on how outraged I am I might update my blog tomorrow for a review. :P

Right now: I'm just gonna sit back to do nothing. :P

Caffeine overdose

Yesterday was tragic. I had 4.5 hr of sleep before hand and after lunch (also after my can of V in the morning) we decided to super concentrated coffee... Not only did that wake me up, it also upset my stomach like hell and I had an upset stomach for most of the day. o_O

Today: I'm still really tired. At elast I got around 8 hr of sleep last ngiht though, but it realyl does drain you when you are tired to start with and then pump caffeine into your vein to start up.

*sigh*. Looks like a not so productive day for today. :P

Freakish day

It's a freakish sort of day. First traffic was ridiculous. It must be moron driver's day because the road was full of them. Weather was freakish too but, well, it's expected really. It's Auckland afterall.

I've had 5 sushis for lunch today. That's like a good day :P Sometimes I just ahve 4 and be done with it. I might even go get snacks later. :P

Most freakish of all I"m actually working AND motivated. Something really isn't right. :P

The familiar sense of unmotivation

SO... research is up to the point where I truely don't know what I can do. I guess I can go and chop up signal to be processed later again. Other than that I'm just, hmm, stuck and tired of my work.

Anyway, recently I've been quite distracted I guess. Probably because I've been going nothing but work on my thesis for quite a while, and I still have a few canvas sitting on the floor, not to mention now we're thinking of moving out sooner than we thought I'm kinda looking forward to doing up the place, it's kinda one of my very many obsession.

Ah well, before that: gotta get this first year report thingy sorted...

Early bird gets the worm...

And if you go to the cafe early you get the best looking beef sandwich with tomata and no pickle. :P

In a slightly better mood today, probably because Petey said we might move out sooner than we thought. It's still a dream at the moment but it's still sorta like seeing the light a the end of the tunnel. Yay :)

Anyway, working isn't going too bad. Sitll summarising medical journals and it's almost putting me to sleep. But it's getting there. After this I think for next weke I can code again. Just need this to be sorted first.

Anyway, back to my lunch time browsing and other assorted time wasting activities. :P

Quick blog update

Yeah trying to cram more work into today than usual. Plus not really feeling my usual self, I was hoping work can drown things out. Situation at home is getting out of hand. I don't know I still feel like I'm on the edge of a breakdown. I'm starting to get slightly suicidal again. That's never a good sign. Plus sometimes it's even harder when the world don't understand people with depression and see that as a sign of weakness. You learn to hide it from people.

Self harm thoughts aside (which I'm not gonna carry out, don't worry.) work's okay I guess. I htink I've gained a bit of weight again too. *sigh* stupid winter.

I'll get over it. I hope. (Having Pete around helps. :) I'll slowly get there. Probably just start spending less time at home.

Touch typing

I read reading this book the other day about neurobics (exercises for the brain), and apperantly touch typing is actually a very good way to exercise the brain. At least it is for people like me, who still peek and seek. It actually also means less typos, now that I'm actually seeing what I type. Pete said it'd get easier. I'm not too sure, it's still REALLY slow at the moment.

Now: my lunch: today I'm having sushi. A grand total of FOUR of them too. Decided it's a lot healthier than pie, and if I go just before 12 I avoid the sushi rush too. Also, it's more expensive, I buy less, hence I eat less. :P

Work has been draining. I've looked at some of my data and frankly, they aren't really making much sense. :( But hopefully something would pop up in my head and I'll be able to fix it. Fingers crossed.

I think you ought to know, I'm feeling very depressed

No, not really, I've just been looking for Marvin plush toy all morning. :P

Although my research isn't really going anywhere. Supervisor suggested a few things to try, which doesn't work. o_O But it's still good to knwo it doesn't work I guess. SLOWLY eliminate all the stuff that won't help.

It's been a slow day, except now that I've found the plush Marvin, I have something to live for. (j/k) I wonder if they'll sell it in NZ. The only site I found that seel it is in UK. But you can't blame them. HHGG is kinda British.

Anyway, back to trying things to see what works. What's the point. It'll all end in tears.

/Marvin rocks

Even more unhealthy lunch...

I went get my lunch at 12:20 and they've already ran out of sandwiches!! Grrr. VERY annoyed. The only thing that looks good is the pie... there's fat size of a golf ball in that thing. o_O (Plus there's so little cheese in it I could've swear it's a steat pie instead of a steak and cheese)

Anyway, spent today sorting out data and reading on how the actually use the distribution and all. It's a long slow process.

I did cook up some code to run in uni, only to find the new version of Matlab made some subtle, but yet not TOO subtle changes, which makes working in uni somewhat annoying. Most of the major bugs have been ironed out, still got minor bugs to chase after.

Guess I'll take full advantage of this lunch break. I truely do hate mondays... Always make me feel so... stressed out and depressed. Unhealthy lunch does not help either. o_O

Vogon, simulation lab, unhealthy lunch, and other assorted ranting

I'm thinking of changing this blog's name to either "Miscellaneous ranting" or "What I'm having for lunch". Indeed those seems to be the only thigns I talk about.

Right, Vogon. I'm sure the university is run by Vogons. I had a query, asked person A, who referred me to department B. Department B said they don't handle it and said asked Department C. Department C said that it's got nothing to do with them and they should ask person A... who in term said that it's in a form I signed. o_O *sigh*...

Then I decided to check out the new "fast simulation lab". It's got new pretty machines with BIG widescreen LCD monitor. When I say big I meant "This could've been a flatscreen TV" big. (Well, maybe not.) It still took about 2 minutes to run a minute worth of data... and when I ran 2 minutes worth of data it froze. Lovely.

Had instant noodles today. It's been a craving I've been having for a while, and I'm glad I went through it because I think it's enough to put me off instant noodles for a while. Eek. Not a good lunch. But at least I"m full.

Overall, it's not bad going for a Friday, and Petey said he can rescue me around 4. YAY!! :)

Beetlebum

It's very strange. I know all I need is to get this one piece of code down, run it in uni, and then I'll have almost enough data to start writing my proposal. But somehow I'm very reluctant to do so. It's not hard code, it's not tedious code, but I just find it REALLY hard to get going. Probably just becasue it's been a very busy few weeks, and I'm just kinda run down.

I'll get there. By tomorrow I really really hope I have data and stuff to at least start compiling my proposal.

Indulgence

One the scale from 1 to fattening, today's lunch is ranked "unholy". I have wedges with the cafe's infamous fake cheese sauce, and a bottle of V. Didn't have coffee this morning though, so I'm telling myself it's justified.

It's been ridiculously tiring these for the past week or so. Haven't done much work wise but it's just one of those weeks that's exhausting I guess. I'm just so tired today, so hoping that V would help. But I've decided to work on things that doesn't require brain power instead.

Besides indulging myself with unholy lunch and easy work, I also got two new books from the library on EEG. Yes NEW books! No old book smell, and pretty and shiny and all corners are still perfect right angles. Weee.

Still hoping to wake up a bit soon... *yawn*

Lazy day with lots to do

Still got a lot of stuff to do, but feeling a bit lazy today. Figured out that I only need to run a few sets of data through my code, get some results, and then I should have enough to work on my proposal. SWEET!

Also busy trying to help my brother organise his 21st. Hopefully I've found a place for it, then it's just all sort of fancy frilly things like invites and stuff.

Things are looking good. Horrah!

Damn the pink marshmallow!

Someone got to remind me why I have to pay more for coffee where they don't ask you before they put in the marshmallow. PINK marshmallow! GRRRRRRRRRRRR! I thought it's a well known fact that there are some people who simple hate pink marshmallow (okay, or white ones), so you would've thought they'd at least ask. Now my mocha taste like pink marshmallow.

In other news: Spending most of today reading again I guess. It's just that it's up to the point that reading is pretty much what I NEED to be doing, medical stuff AND maths stuff. Wish me luck on that one.

I'm also feeling kinda "trapped" at the moment. Having a father at home constantly saying how I have to leave the country after my degree doesn't really help. Honestly call me lazy I rather like New Zealand. It's not like I can't find a job here. Sometiems it gets extremely frustrating argueing with him. It's the fact that he THINK he knows everything that makes it just that much harder to actually talk any sense into him.

Yeah I know, lots of angst in me at the moment. It's been like this even since dad is back really. If I don't move out soon I think I'm gonna go insane. *sigh*

Review: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

H2G2. Don't talk to me about H2G2...

Spoilers to follow, but you won't like it. Why bother reading.

Anyway.

It's rather disappointing, but at least I have SOME warning. Really, the book is a lot better. Read the books.

The saving grace for the whole movie is Marvin. Yes I know, Martin Freeman is PERFECT as Arthur Dent, but there is just simply not enough scene to actually show that off. Rather disappointed that he didn't order that cup of tea to freeze up the computer. And really, REALLY annoyed at Trillian being the love interest. It really just doesn't work.

Zaphod and Ford were a bit off in the movie. Ford is WAY too much of an idiot and Zaphod was, well, boderlining annoying. Whatever happen to him sealing off part of him brain and knowing he's plotting something that he doens't know?

Some of the changes I can understand: the starting sequence is visually better with the dophin dance. (I still love the orginal beginning sequence.) And I rather like Marvin saving the day. But the rest of it... oh I don't know.

It's not British enough, that's what I think. Maybe I do belong to the camp of rabid fans who worship the books, but compared to the book it's... hmm.. lacking something. I'm still glad that some of the jokes are left there. But some of the stuff that got cut out is just plain stupid. The scene where Ford talked the worker into lying in front of the bulldozer so Arthur can go to the pub is a lot funnier than him giving the workers beer.

There are two camps of people: those who loves it and those who thinks Douglas Adams will turn in his grave. I must admit I think DA would probably be disappointed in it. Although, there are some part of it that's quite adorable, but meh, I'm too cynical and too much of a geek to think it's good.

And as one of my friends said: "Marvin would probably tell you it’s absolutely awful and gave him pain all down his left side" :P

Aren't you glad you didn't watch that movie with Marvin... (or me for that matter :P)

Strange lunch

I'm having my lunch at the moment... and I swear I got a beef sandwich, except for some reason there are chicken (as well as beef) in it. Odd.

Anyway, not too sure how much work I can do today. People are still graduating (and it's a very good excuse to take breaks :P) and one of my best mates is grduating today (cangrats Caz :)) so I'll be going for photos a bit later. Plus there's the meeting. It should be interesting.

Man I'm at the stage right now that I really don't know what the heck I'm doing for my PhD really. I have some ideas, but I just don't really think I can get it done I guess. ARGH!

*sigh*

I'll get over it I hope.

Self doubt

I've been looking at my research and being hit by self doubt again. Why I'm not too entirely sure. I just don't knwo whether I can be up to it I guess... *sigh*

Ah well.. it's going to be some long months, I already knew that...

The other side of graduation

This morning partly due to a sense of guilt if I don't go see the proccession after I told a few people I will, and partly because I thought I'll give myself a break, I stood on the corner of the street to take photos of friends doing the walk.

It's not the first time I've seen the walk obviously: I did in fact stay there for Petey's walk. :) It's the first time I'm there and people watch though. (Last time I just stared and make sure I have a good spot for photos...) You do get a different perspective when you're there and people watch. The whole day is as big a day for the family and friends as the graduates, and you have a lot of parents panicking to get the camera working when the graduates are getting close. It's kinda sweet in a way.

I took a few pictures of a few friends. I'm glad I caught Julie though. Although I got a feeling I would've missed a few others (there are WAY too many of them) . If you're reading this and you graduated today and I didn't seem to see you: sorry :P (I'm just plain blind.)

Anyway, it's a week of celebration. So I brought myself some chips. (it's an excuse)

Probably should get back to eating my lunch :P

Going back to my Asian roots...

Spent yesterday for the graduation. It was a LONG day, lots of walking, and having a massive headache at the end of the day never helps. BUt lucky Pete was there the whole day and took REALLY good care of me. :) Whatever would I do without him I'm not too sure. He just made the day so perfect. :)

Okay, switch off my mushy mode before people get too sick... :)

Graduation day is the easiest day to seperate the Asians from the rest of the population: ALL the Asians will spend a good part of the day in Albert park taking photos.

It's a good day to see people you haven't seen in a while though. I met a few of my friends whom I haven't seen in ages. It's actually quite good, and you do get to catch up with people. So it's all well justified. And of course, since I just got my brand new camera, you'll expect lots of photos being taken. Pete was having a lot of fun just playing with it. IN fact I think we might find a day when we're free to just go and take photos. :P

Anyway, it's scary to see fellow Chinese in these sort of situations. The majority of them are okay really, but it's the odd few that made me also understand why some people are racist (well, ALMOST). You see people that aren't really sitting around on a bench just standing right in front of it just for the sake that no one sits there and they can go back to it. I don't know... in a way it's almost expected. This sort of selfish inconsiderate behaviour is quite typical of us. Not saying we're all like that of course, and not saying other nationalities don't do it, but it does seems like a trade mark.

*sigh*I still hope to get over this complex about hating the fact that I'm Chinese, but on days like that, it's kinda hard...

P.S.: I guess seeing the engineers clearing up all the food in the free lunch within 5 minute isn't much better huh...